Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
These tits shall not be calmed
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
