I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
