hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize