all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
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