I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
