ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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