Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
