I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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