woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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