not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
