so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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