I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
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