He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
