I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
did you just send me my own nude
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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