Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
