the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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