Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize