He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize