Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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