he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
