He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Randomize
