I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
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Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
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Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
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