I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
areolas are like halos for boobs.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize