Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize