Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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