I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
