Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
You smell like stripper and shame
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Randomize
