I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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