who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Holy shit dude........stairs
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