im drinking this country out of the recession.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize