the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Randomize
