Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Randomize