did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
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