It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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