Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
