i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Randomize
