Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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