it hurts more in the daytime
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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