also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
