Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
