Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
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