I want to stick my p in your. b.
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Randomize
