Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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