Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Randomize
