You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
