Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
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she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
that may or may not have been my penis.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize