rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
