I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
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I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
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Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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