oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
