Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
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