you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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