in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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