Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
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He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
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