no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize
