porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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