But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
