So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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